
Saiou no Hana
BL
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Historical
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Drama
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BL | Historical | Drama |

Shion met the boy's eyes.
"I will do as you ask," he answered quietly.
For once, the men fell silent. Toshi closed his eyes. "I swear I will give you the best of every kill. You will never go hungry again."
Shion smiled at him. Sensing the excitement was over, the crowd of soldiers dispersed, and he was finally left to enjoy his meal. He'd never tasted anything like it. Fish were unutterably bland by comparison. Something that had been hunted, that had lived and then died a violent death, full of struggle-
"You really seem to like it," Toshi murmured from beside him.
"I have never had wild game before."
"It will give you health and strength. You can almost taste the life in it, can you not?"
Shion smiled at him. "This might more appropriately be called the taste of its death."
The young man laughed. "You cannot have one without the other, Shion. In the end, they are one and the same."
It was a painful truth, and yet, this young samurai could laugh as he acknowledged it. Kamui had accepted it, hadn't he? And these other men, as well-
Part of him was uneasy with the idea of treating this boy so roughly, but turning down his request meant nothing but passing the responsibility on to someone else. Either way, it had to be done. Better that it should be carried out with skill and compassion-
Shion's heart caught in his throat.
"Toshi," he murmured, "why did you ask me to do this? Was it because of what happened earlier?"
The boy nodded. "You treated that man very kindly. Perhaps you cannot see it, but-" He sighed. "Kamui's death is not a thing that any one person has the power to forgive. Everyone in this province will suffer because of that man's actions, perhaps for generations to come."
He paused for a moment. "It would have been better had he not lied to you. When we swore ourselves to Kamui, we vowed to uphold his ideals of honesty and respect for the people. He may not have known our lord was ill- most of us did not- but he certainly understood the way he treated you was a kind of betrayal, Shion."
As different as they were from each other, it was undeniable that Shion shared something in common with these men. Perhaps he could learn something from them.
For some inexplicable reason, he found himself attempting to search out Lord Teru from in amongst the crowds.
"Thank you, Lord Toshi,” he answered, bowing until his forehead touched the floor. “I am honored to have your trust.”
Once the young man had left him, Teru, whom he’d found watching quietly from a considerate distance, returned to the place beside him. For a while, the man said nothing, only smiled. His silence was almost embarrassing.
"You seem to have gotten on well with the boy," he finally murmured.
"Yes, my lord. I found him quite agreeable."
“You should make other acquaintances.” Lord Teru sighed, glancing over in Shion’s direction. "My cousin will be sending young Toshiwara home very soon.”
"Because of his leg?" Shion shook his head emphatically. "It is only a broken bone, badly mended. There is a decent chance I can make him fit for battle once again."
The man gave him a questioning look.
"If it is split apart at the excess growth and allowed the proper time to heal, the bone should set properly this time and be of little consequence to him any longer."
Unexpectedly, Lord Teru began to laugh.
"You cannot simply make arrangements on your own to keep a man who is essentially useless housed and fed for months on end, Shion.”
He frowned back at the samurai.
"Why are you so eager to treat him? Did he offer you money?"
"No, my lord," Shion answered quietly, "nor did I ask it. I came here so that my skills might serve the daimyo's purpose, and keeping his men in good condition must surely be worth the expense-"
"Look at him, Shion. He can barely walk already. Is it not possible Lord Hatori might judge it more worthwhile to give up on him altogether?"
"Without this treatment, my lord, that youth will soon not walk at all.” Shion pursed his lips together in frustration. “I can tell by his dress and his manner of speaking that his family must be quite wealthy. If the daimyo is more concerned with expense than with his man’s well-being, they should at least be allowed the opportunity to lend their support to this endeavor.” As he stared out in Toshiwara’s direction, Lord Teru's sharp eyes followed his own. They glinted in the firelight, far more like a hawk's than a man's.
"I have no say in the matter, but I might be persuaded to speak to Yuma on your behalf."
Shion bowed his head.
"I would be extremely grateful, Lord Teru."
"Then indulge me and keep your head down a moment longer."
Shion blushed. The man's warm fingers stroked at his hair, leaving him with an oddly anxious feeling.
"And who do you intend to carry out this treatment?"
"I- will do it myself, my lord."
Teru's hand kept moving above him, thoughtful and slow.
"You must understand such a thing will require a great deal of force. Do you consider yourself capable of that, Shion?"
"Yes, my lord. It will not be as difficult as you might think. The bone will not yet have hardened completely-"
"I was not asking about your physical capacity for it."
The warmth of those fingers withdrew, lifting instead at his chin. He gazed up into Teru's expectant eyes.
"It was the boy's sincere request," Shion answered, refusing to falter, "and regardless of my own personal feelings, I will honor the trust he has placed within me."
Some vague hint of a smile chased over Teru's features before disappearing as though it had never been present at all.
"Today must have been challenging for you,” he murmured. “You should try to get some rest."
The floor was drafty and cold. The blankets Lord Teru had brought him scarcely seemed to help, but he wrapped himself in them tightly as he tossed and turned, wholeheartedly attempting to do just that.
"Can you not get comfortable?," the man sighed. "Here-"
Shion suddenly found himself pulled against Lord Teru's body. He felt as though he should make some protest, but his counterpart’s arms were sheltering and warm. The panic he'd been struck with eventually faded away. Teru probably found the damp chill just as miserable as he did.
At some point during the night Shion woke to a distant, unaccustomed sound. It was almost like-
Moaning.
Heat flooded his cheeks. Teru still held onto him tightly, making the bitter sensation all the more intense. He supposed he ought not find it very surprising. Leaving the grounds so late into the night was most likely prohibited, and considering there were no women within, some of the men would no doubt have established certain arrangements-
Lord Teru's breath fell softly on the back of his neck.
It seemed unlikely that the man had anyone like this. Did he- wish to?
The quiet moaning was growing louder, more desperate. Another voice echoed alongside it, and Shion pressed tightly at the arm which held firm against him, barely daring to breathe. If the man were to awaken to this, as he had-
Evidently Teru was far more used to it than he was. He still slept soundly, and, quite against his better judgment, Shion found himself wondering what it might be like- to-
At first, Shion scarcely noticed Lord Hatori's arrival. The common room was emptied out far longer than usual, but that was largely all. Once he ventured outside, however, Shion found himself surrounded by an unimaginable multitude of men. Toshiwara was limping around the kitchen as quickly as he could possibly manage, sweaty and overwhelmed, as the newcomers, no doubt mistaking him for a servant, swore colorfully at him. The boy was clearly furious, and Shion could hardly blame him. There were far more soldiers than the fortress could comfortably house and support. Had Lord Hatori not known, or did he simply not care?
Shion gave up his on futile quest for food and rushed back inside. There were going to be blankets lined up end to end on the floor tonight. It would be difficult to navigate through them, but, with any luck, Lord Teru would keep his place near the entrance-
"Shion," the man's voice called out. "Are you hungry?"
Teru emerged from the narrow doorway carrying two platters of food. He looked exhausted, almost winded.
"Must have brought the whole damned army with him," Teru was muttering under his breath.
Shion took his plate in silence. His companion was in a baleful mood.
"The last of our peaceful days have ended. I will never get any sleep tonight." The man sighed as he sank down beside him. "Watch yourself, Shion, and whatever you do, keep close."
He seemed agitated. Shion supposed he didn't care very much for the crowds.
"I cannot believe," Lord Teru continued, "that Hatori saw fit to bring so many men here. What in the world was he thinking?"
"Isn't it better to have many soldiers, my lord?"
Teru shook his head. "Only to a certain point. If you assemble too many men together for a prolonged amount of time in the peace of winter, you can no longer maintain adequate control."
"Illness will spread quickly as well," Shion murmured.
"Then I suppose we will simply have to be sure no one becomes ill."
It was a sarcastic statement. The cynicism practically dripped from Lord Teru's voice. He gazed at Shion for a long moment, then sighed. "The text- have you been reading it?"
"Yes, my lord."
"What do you think of it?"
He considered for a moment. "I think," Shion answered, raising a bite of food to his mouth, "it seems very much like you."
Lord Teru narrowed his eyes. "How so?"
"The advice is eminently reasonable but also quite ruthless. It all makes perfectly good sense, and yet-" Shion shook his head. "Saying you ought to be show mercy and treat others well, because otherwise they will not be useful to you- is a bit cold, my lord."
"Men are not good, as you suppose." Teru had a faraway look, but he seemed a bit more relaxed than before. "All their warmth is but a pretense, but honesty- honesty is cold, Shion, like the edge of a blade cutting through your dearest illusions. The moment you submit to it, acknowledge and accept it, the world as it truly is opens itself up to you."
He understood what Teru meant. Before Shion had met Kamui, he'd stood helpless and bewildered in the face of this 'truth,' this pretended warmth, this comforting naivete.
"I understand why you might feel that way," Shion murmured softly. "Many men, perhaps, are selfish and deceitful, but not all."
"Such men do not live very long." The way the man's gaze lingered on him as he said this sent chills up Shion's spine. "They blossom and fade in their short season, before the earth reclaims them."
Teru watched him carefully, as though expecting some answer, but Shion found he had no answer to give. Those eyes- he could no longer meet them, and so he stared down at the floor.
"Be good, if that is what you wish, but do not expect the same from others. Your illusions will destroy you."
Lord Teru felt that he must avoid this at all costs, and yet-
"You must be very lonely," Shion murmured.
Something like surprise chased across the man's features, then was gone. "It is inconsequential," he responded. This was not a denial. Perhaps he felt as though it wasn't worth the effort to lie.
"You will be pleased to know Lord Yuma has decided to grant your request. If you mean to see to young Toshiwara, it would best be done quickly, before the others begin claiming their places." Teru gave him a bemused smile. "I am certain he will not mind being dismissed from the kitchens."
"If it is possible, Lord Teru, see that he bathes before he comes here. It may prove difficult afterwards." Shion surveyed the chamber. "He really ought to be given a separate room."
"Be grateful you have been granted this much, Shion. Only men of Yuma's rank might hope for such a thing. If Lord Hatori were to remain here long enough, those with the means to do so would build themselves houses, but it does not make much sense to settle in such a place as this."
"No," Shion answered. "I suppose not." He paused. "I will need ink and some sort of heavy blunt object, also something to place in his mouth. A little sake would not go amiss-"
"No. We cannot spare it." The man leaned in closer. "This procedure is being carried out under Lord Yuma's orders. Should your resolve fail you, as I suspect it might, you must not prevent me from finishing the task."
Shion swallowed hard, bowing his head. This man was nothing to Toshiwara but a stranger, and Toshiwara was nothing to Teru but a task to be accomplished.
"I will not fail, Lord Teru."
Chapter III
By the time darkness fell, the chamber was cramped and noisy. Shion sat silently surveying the scene before him, his blanket pulled over his head like a hood as he desperately attempted to avoid notice.
Teru had gone to see to Toshiwara. Shion gazed in their direction with anxious eyes.
"Stuck in the middle of nowhere until the end of winter," someone was complaining. "I hate this place already."
"It would be fine, if there was only some sake-"
"At least the women are attractive."
"Too bad you are so ugly, Masahiro." There was a round of laughter.
"Come festival-time it will hardly matter."
Festival-time... Ohigan was growing closer, wasn't it? How long? One week, or several, or perhaps a month? Shion had lost all sense of time.
"I have already had one. Scared little thing. It was as though she had never seen an unsheathed sword before."
Shion hesitated. Perhaps the statement was only metaphorical, but, all the same, it left him feeling uneasy. He sincerely wished that Teru would hurry back to his side.
"Did you see the lame boy in the corner? They say he is a samurai. Hard to believe, with him groaning like that."
"He was wounded in battle. Show a little respect." This remark drew Shion's attention. There must be a few decent men here. He had only to find them-
"Maybe he will die," a deep voice intoned, "and make more space for the rest of us."
Shion sighed. This was hopeless. He was beginning to understand where Teru's cynicism came from.
"You know, you cannot hide your face forever, Shion."
He glanced up at the man standing beside him. "How is Toshiwara, my lord?"
Lord Teru sighed as he settled down on the floor. "As well as might be expected. He is in terrible pain and refused to eat, which I suppose is understandable. With any luck, his body will exhaust itself and finally allow him to sleep."
Shion nodded. "I wish I had some kind of sedative for him."
Teru hesitated for a moment. "Do not tell anyone," he whispered, "but my cousin gave up his share of sake for Toshiwara's sake."
Then- Teru had asked him, after all-
"I cannot express my gratitude, Lord Teru."
"You spared me an unpleasant task," the man answered, "and honestly- I find your skills very impressive, Shion."
For some reason, he found himself blushing. Teru smiled at him, reaching to toss the blanket back from his face. It was absurd, but he momentarily felt as though he was being stripped-
"I know these men are a rough lot, but you have nothing to fear from them as long as I am with you."
Shion nodded absently. He could not tear his gaze from the man's eyes, but why? It made no sense to him.
"Did you hear anything interesting while I was away?"
"Aside from an intimation of rape and the wish that Toshiwara might die, nothing, my lord."
Teru gave him what almost seemed like a sympathetic expression. "No one here is of sufficient status for a rape to occur, Shion, and wishing death upon someone is hardly a criminal offense." He drew closer. "If, however, you hear threats made against any of the men, or if anyone mentions either Hatori's name or Yuma's, you must agree to tell me."
"Of course, my lord."
"Also, if anyone acts inappropriately towards you, I would have you tell me that as well." Teru's hand brushed against his cheek. "This is a personal wish, having nothing to do with my station."
Shion nodded. Suddenly he remembered there was something he'd wanted to ask-
"Ohigan," he murmured. "How far away is it?"
"Eleven days, Shion. You should sleep now, if you can."
Eleven days. Poor Toshiwara would miss it.
He gathered his blankets around him and pressed his back to Teru's outstretched leg.
That sound- again-
Shion stirred from his sleep. This time Teru wasn't laying against him. He attempted to roll over, finding the man's leg there beside him, just as before. Shion turned his head against it, and a hand fell softly over his hair. He opened his eyes and stared up at Teru's face.
"Do you hear it too?"
Shion nodded sleepily.
"My lord-" He paused. "Do you have- anyone-?"
"No, Shion. I do not." Teru sighed. Those fingers stroked absentmindedly at his head. "It is hardly worth the trouble. So much work, for so little reward-"
His voice trailed off, as though he doubted himself.
"Besides, consider what I have to choose from."
Teru smiled down at him. Shion was tempted to ask if he might suit the man better but considered that such a momentous question probably ought not to be asked while one was half-asleep and half-aroused.
"My lord," he yawned, "it is late. You should be sleeping as well."
"I cannot-"
He reached up and took hold of Teru's arm. The man gave him an uneasy look.
"Please," Shion whispered.
"I think I may have started a dangerous precedent." His voice seemed so serious. Shion laughed softly, pulling the man's arm around him. For a moment, Teru hesitated. Then he gave up resisting completely and settled himself alongside Shion's body.
"Yuma wants to put you to use examining all of the men."
Shion frowned up at him. He'd decided a wooden brace would be helpful in stabilizing Toshiwara's fractured leg and had been working to bind it with the proper pressure.
"I am honored he thinks so highly of me, but I must warn you, I am no doctor-"
"You have done well for the boy. You will no doubt do as well for the others."
He wanted to protest it, but in all honesty, he was secretly glad for something to do. He'd read Lord Teru's text over and over until he too felt he had it memorized.
"As you say, my lord."
Shion continued working at the bindings. Teru stood behind him and placed a hand over his own. He stared down at it silently, all his movements frozen in place, even his breathing.
"Here. Let me help you."
It was much easier wrapping it while someone else held the wooden piece in place. It would have been easier still, had his fingers not been trembling.
"I have another text to give you," Teru told him.
"Another treatise on war?"
The man laughed softly. "That is hardly all I think about, Shion."
If there was indeed anything in Teru's head but plotting and stratagems, Shion had yet to see it.
"Your time will be entirely occupied with Yuma's request, so I suggest you read it before tomorrow. The storehouse is stocked with medicines for every possible ailment, so you should not have to make anything more on your own."
As Shion knotted the ends of the fabric together, Toshiwara stirred in his sleep.
"When spring comes to us again," Teru murmured softly, "do you think he will be able to join us?"
"He will, my lord."
Lord Teru's hand fell on his shoulder. This time Toshiwara might not return. They both knew it. And if the boy did not-
"I will see that he is placed where it suits him. I hear he is good with horses and a bow."
Shion nodded. He couldn't help but feel a bit despondent, but he also knew Teru could be trusted with the lives of his men. Even if it was only because they were useful, or because it was most efficient- in the end, what did it matter, so long as they remained alive?
Teru left to join the others for practice, and Shion made his way back across the cavernous room. He found a carefully tied little scroll lying there on his makeshift pillow.
He sighed as he unwrapped it, sincerely hoping it wouldn't be as dense and difficult as the last thing Teru had given him, and found, to his surprise, that the characters were native, familiar, and the script-
Poetry. Lord Teru had left him poetry. Shion shook his head and laughed. Of all the possible things that man could've dropped on his pillow-
The more he read, the more engrossed he became. Who had written these? They all had a particular style and seemed to share the same author. When he got to the last sequence he paused.
Unbound, you stretch out,
Unfurled, untranslatable
Symbolic flower-
Essence of heaven and hell,
White petals turned to crimson.
Uncertain days, and
Nights of tremulous whispers
Sway the autumn air.
Your white scent turns me crimson.
Unfurl yourself before me.
Shion pressed his hand over his mouth. His fingertips lingered at the edge of the lines.
Lord Teru must have written all of it. And these last- the man had written it specifically for him, probably last night when he said he couldn’t sleep.
Shion felt his heart shake with panic. Perhaps he could pretend he hadn't understood its meaning, or that he hadn't grasped that Lord Teru was its author-
He stared at the man's writing-box, left conspicuously in sight as though to invite some response. Did he really think that Shion would be capable of such a thing? There was something rather taboo about the whole idea. This was what high-ranking men and women traded back and forth with each other in the capital, not-
Not here in the middle of nowhere with someone like him.